I just got back from Cancun Mexico. Somehow I won a trip from work to go there. I guess it was from all the hard work I watched happen before my eyes. I really love my job so it does not seem like work... and when a trip comes along for loving what you do... well that is even more incredible.

I posted some photos for everyone to enjoy in my photo section.

It has been about three years since I have been to the Ocean. Vacations have been pulling me to the mountains lately. So I merged again with the sea, ate good food, had great quality time with my wife Tricia and missed the kids a ton.

and now that i look back... I realize that I never left... all of it simply appeared before me...coming to and dissolving behind as i stood in place smiling.


MIke

PS - dont drink the water from the fountain in Atlanta

Just for today..... inner peace looks at you from the outer world

Being loves itself soo much that it explodes out into all different forms of life to experience itself...being all of it.

You are all of it   :)

So there I was once, about four years ago searching for the ultimate day when Peace would just take over my life. I figured if I meditated every day, practiced Reiki, read more to understand, I would eventually get to some place or get it.

I figured if I could find Peace for a short time in meditation, if I eventually meditated more I could smooth this peaceful moment into the rest of my life. i could master the tools of the universe and see.

Little did I know that both sides of the coin in my life... the inner peace and the outer world that was imagined by the mind, were simply Being expressing itself.... in both ways! Like a flower yearning to be in nature.

So if you find yourself now in some practice that you are hoping one day will  bring a result of  happiness, peace, enlightenment, heaven, oneness, etc.... Know and see that you have been standing in the open doorway the whole time.

There is no door with Peace on the other side

Peace is the door, the doorway, you, the inside and the outside.

Any act to find anything more is simple Peace pretending to be something else looking for itself.

The beauty of this.... you dont have to practice, know, study, pass any exam, meditate more, live on a mountain or blink. Being is you already, has always been and will continue.

Know... enjoy

Today was the funeral for my father. For some reason I have not cried much. Looking at his body in the open casket, an instant realizaton occured that he is not there. The knowing of this indescribable place he is..... am I too. 

So at the funeral I told a few stories and read the blog I just wrote from last week. I looked out at the large crowd of friends and relatives and also read the poem below.  The words just flowed out without me doing anything and in a couple of point where I began to tear the instant knowing of Life showed up to help me along.

My three children and wife sat in front of me, mixed in as One

I will cry...not for me... but for my children who may be sad...for others also... and for the simple honering.... honering this... honering life... and the act of labeling it so perfectly and loving the tiny moment served to share. 

And as these tiny moments appear and are called Harry in this case.... we all befriended them...




Goodbye My Friend... and Thank You

Perfect words can never change the moment

It stands before you an emptiness once filled with love

No echo, no embracement, no growth, no one

This mystery and pain will be your Friend

and guide you to places of deep silence and wisdom

A place only you can go

Places only you will know

One day you will carry this wisdom.... into another

and your depth shall be felt

an unspoken knowing of your experience

And you will lose yourself in moments

and embrace your depth and wisdom

and love again.... more deeply

 

(Hey thanks to everyone who sent loving messages to me to help comfort me with the recent loss of my dad...I am touched deeply...so I wrote some helpful pointers as my thanks)

Getting Better ??  :) :)

The next moment according to the mind will be better. The next moment will bring a new experience to improve who you are and make you more aware. So lets just sit and wait and watch this happen.

Looking for the next moment to Be more Being is an illusion. Just as we search for more "inner" peace.

Ideas of inner peace, heaven, the veil, Oneness, thoughtlessness, the gap.... these are all simple colors of space. We are the space.

When we get to the next moment (which we have now) are we different?  Are we Being any more?

When we get to heaven, are we Being anymore than we are now?

When we get to the gap, or inner peace, are we Being anymore?

Can the river become more wetness by becoming the Ocean?

These imagined places or states are just new colors on our canvas allowing us to drop ideas of limitations we now see ourselves to be.

Find Truth now...know your Self, with One question. Take this questions ask it quietly to yourself and feel the answer. Ask it several times over the next few days and ask it until the answer dissolves the question.

Question to ask -       Who Am I?

Signs???

Since my fathers passing I have for experienced a roller coaster of emotions and feelings... uh over the past week??  One very strong experience has been a feeling of peace and serenity with an icing made of blues.

This serenity has allowed me to notice much more depth in life and at times connect to the indescribable place within others as appearances of others.

So... Tuesday I am in my car outside of work ready to go in and I am sitting quetly wondering about where my father may be at this time, can he experience me, know etc.... typical questions appearing in the mind
.
I get out of my car and I notice this bird loudly chirping on a tree besides my car "chirp, chirp, chirp, chip".

Now I never pay attention to birds. But for some reason that bird caught my attention just as suddenly the birds chirps appeared in my mind to be saying "here- here- here-here" very loudly.  ahhhh ok maybe that is the answer to my question of where is my father

Silence creating thought  = silence creating sound ie birds chirping. All the same ONEness creating thoughts and sounds.

So I smile and exhaled and went into the office for an hour.

An hour later I was in my car heading up Rt95 towards DC when out of nowhere a bird flies into my car window (drivers side) bounces off the glass and hits the pavement behind me and dies. I see this happen in my rear view mirror. It was rather dreamlike.

I drive 125 miles a day, been doing this for over 2 years I have never had a bird hit my window. Once a bird went into my grill off a country rd, but not on 95 which is a busy road full of trucks.

here is my knowing on this event

Being watching itself love
and experience illusions of loss of itself.
 That is the dance of death.
 Being watching itself wonder, question and respond to itself  as symbols.

The bird that died stylized Death
The bird that spoke said Here
Result..... moment of (death) and moment of here are the same. No change

So does this help the feelings passing through that are experienced by me? By pointing more so to here Now. And here.... weather I am quiet, sad, happy, tired, I am here..... in this place silently knowing..... everyOne

Giant thunderstorms ravaged through me all day yesterday. The anger that appeared made me so mad in every cell of my body that nothing seemed to go correctly during the day. (Even though all is perfect)

Have you ever been so mad that you even get mad at how your body is not functioning? example I found myself  getting  pissed off  yesterday because I  was thirsty and could not drink the water quick enough to satisfy my body.  (that is pretty mad) Then I made my lunch and was not happy with that, threw it out the door onto the lawn and yelled at who ever was next to me. All this before 9 am. (nice guy)

These perhaps are the emotions I have read about that a person goes through during bereavement. They appear in any order at any time. Uuuuugh.... I wondered last night If I should just go away and allow these to occur for the sake of my family. A week at the beach may be where I need to be.

I also have been observing how sensitive I am too right now. Like a balloon on the verge of ready to burst. The slightest emotions are at the edge of my being ready to explode at all times.

Last night I went to watch my daughter dance in the North Carroll Rec League dance evening. She was one of 40 numbers. Each time any little child appeared on stage in a cute little dance outfit I found myself almost tearing at the energy of the moment. The sensitivity of picking up the emotions of those around me is strong I guess. Its like there is not shell of a me to filter any of this.

So the emotions I am watching appear?  Exhaustion from trying to logically figure out about the loss of my father, where he is, why it seemed so much like me watching myself pass..... these are the churning's of a good old fashioned summer thunderstorm... started in the mind and released.

Observations

We are the sky and storms do appear. And when they do all that we see will then be part of the storm. Friends and loved ones, especially family, kids, and others become part of the play in this storm. Just as the sky takes part in the thunderstorm so does our outer circle of characters in our play. Are they not also energy like ourselves and everything around us. and.... just as energy can paint itself as anger it can also paint itself as love, silence, peace, loud, soft, fast, slow. These are the painting by the mind labeling itself.

Today I am the calm after the storm. I have rested in many ways... and will much more. The calming will supply hugs and words of love to the injured family  and perhaps a lesson in wisdom to assist in pointing to non control ,acceptance, honor of the "guests that come to our home" we call emotions.

For all of those who danced in my thunder .... i love  you