I just recorded and posted some songs on this site. Please enjoy them.

I have moved forward by taking my poetry and now adding music to it. It only took me 6 months to learn guitar.


http://www.imeem.com/people/GX4GPV7

We are all the pearl within the shell. One day the shell will disappear and shining will be the pearl only.

As I get older, and for me its only 43, the small child in me still drives this vehicle. The being that I know I am is still the one trying to park this body, pick up this body and , aaaand... deal with the storms of emotions that pass through it.  Have I improved the body, yes at times. Have I mastered the storms and weather.... ha no way.  I may have figured out how to avoid stormy emotions but when they his suddenly I become them. In my wisdom I have learned not to beat myself up anymore for the way i act. That is a big realization.

Its funny I always think that as I get older life will get easier and I will be more peaceful and not have to deal with issues, people and events like when younger. wrong.  But my wisdom has shown me that perhaps the illusion of finding peace all the time is just that an illusion. After all, how can a concept a concrete one at that like peace ever be places on an ever changing world. Its like trying to paint water. Its always moving and changing.

There is hope though.. the ever changing can be identified and that mystery which moves can be noticed more in the day.... and when it does.... "that" becomes my foundation.

:)

Next Saturday is the monthy open mic night at Starry Nights Cafe. This month I am going to be playing with my daughter Valerie. She is going to sing the climb by Miley Cyrus. I am so glad to be able to get her into music and real glad to be able to play acoustic next to her as she sings. what a bond

Valerie is 8 and has a wonderful rhaspy voice. Just like she has been smoking and drinking for years. what a rockin little girl. I am also playing with my friend Tom who does not play out, he usually plays only in his bedroom on his bed in his underwear. ha... so this should be fun, as I allow the soul to sing from these two to the audience of coffee drinking, bun eating fans.

We are also playing Love and Happiness by Emmelou Harris a duet with me and my neighbor Patty, who sounds just like her.

So three songs, 10 minutes of fun

If you cant make it to the Bakery, open up you windows that night and listen... our young and old souls will be echoing into the night.

Last week I visited a hospital as part of my marketing job. After my visit I stepped outside from the main entrance and stood under the covered drop off pad, as It poured buckets of rain. Standing there w/out an umbrella I decided to wait.

Just then an elderly gentleman came out in his electric wheelchair.He was severely handicapped, in that his hands looked like they were backwards with several fingers missing on each hand.

He asked me to get his cell phone out of his bag... so I did. Then asked me to call a number...so I dialed. Then asked me hold the phone to his ear... so I did... and he talked, and talked , talked. And it rained and rained and rained. I stood there holding his phone to his ear the whole time not saying a word.

After he talked,he asked me to put his phone away for him... so I did. He then asked me to get his hat out of his back pack... so I did...then put it on... so I did that too...and to put on his hood... and I did ..."nope not that low, I cant see" he said... and I then fixed it. He then wanted me to turn him towards the bus stop... so I did. He then said thanks as he waited for the bus. (not once ever seeing me)

I then turned and looked at the rain, looked at my car way out in the parking lot and watched a cute girl come in from the rain w/out her umbrella cussing like a sailor all upset because she got wet walking in the rain. (she suddenly was not cute anymore, but more cartoonish)

I then raised my head stuck out my chest and took a big step out into the rain. I walked steadily into the pouring rain to my car. Taking my time as to be able to feel every rain drop on my body. I walked in thankfulness for every moment I just experienced.

Got to my car drenched and happy. Looked into my rear view mirror and saw me all soaked and smiled.

What will next week bring?

When will I get to a certain point in my life?

When will this or that relationship bloom?

When will I feel better?

I need to get this or that in my life.

All messages from the EGO.  As the Ego tries to always look for the most incredible moment and grand finale with fireworks and sparks. Reality is that in planning... this never happens.

Look really at your life. Are not the best times the ones that "you" didnt plan. Dont you have the most fun when there is no "you" happening in the scene.

Finding happiness in life is accepting this moment... the subtle happiness that is always there.  This subtle happiness is the glue that hold the puzzle or painting of your life together and is always there.

Fall into your happiness... enjoy your mind rambling fantasies, but just realize that to to minimize being as a separate "you" paints an illusion of smallness when you are much more.

Why be a drop of water when you can know yourself as the ocean.... free and as everything.

Home is here now
a knowing and comfort surrounding
all sound is appearing from the echo
all sight is happening, the seeing is
no one seeing, no one hearing, no one reading this


Now look deeply for the EGO... is it there either?

My Soul calls today
Always moving
Always wanting to play

If I try to stop and think
My Soul gets upset and roars louder
Bringing me into a spin
Creating chaos
Which my mind calls pain
And my soul calls play

My soul wants to be free
Riding the wind and capturing the mountains
Tormenting my logic to find balance

So I give up and let go
Let go , let go and allow

and see the soul working
playing within
all that is front of me

and I see the wind and mountains as here now
not in dream

all is....play

We live at the mercy of love.  We are born and soon realize love through parents and seek its sweet nectar, then again from others, family, friends, teachers, siblings, spouses, and ourself.  We seek love through relationships, an energy that lets us know we are connected and not alone. Love is the final song.

Yet, we have no control over who shall love us or who we shall love. Ever tried to love someone? It cant be done.  Ever fallen in love?.. it takes no effort. Like a sneeze love appears, expresses and may move on, often times not as quickly as a sneeze, but you get the point.

and so we go through this life seeking, looking, living for love... and energy, an emotion, an addiction perhaps that makes us think we are not whole unless there is confirmation of this emotion.

and so... what were we before we dis-covered love...?

:)

Stop

take a moment and rest in the presence of ... I AM

just sit, take a breath and locate the I Am in your life.

See that the I AM never ends or begins and that it is all you.

You are the wind within the breeze
The light within the rays
The silence with all sound
A transparence that appears in everything as all
It may look like other but is composed of the peace and silence
found in and as I AM.

A great moment today, a horrible moment tommorow... all the I AM appearing and dancing

Dont be alone in this ... you are not...

You are always Home... and you never left.

Just for today..... sit within your light, its you

follow this light to its endlessness.... that is you too

dissappear into the light into yourSelf, into and as

the place we are always trying to get to.... will come to us once we let go, and once we let go we realize its always been there all along.

so for today... to get to the place I seek... i let go

let go of trying to be a good father and husband
let go of stories and trying to end them correctly or fix them
let go of this place i am supposed to be in my career
let go of trying to know everything
let go of trying to have the answers
let go of controlling emotions by trying to be peaceful
let go of going someplace
let go of bettering is some way
let go of keeping the house clean
let go of worrying

sit, stop and be here in this place and space you and i made.... and your done.

:)